Well here I am again. Every time I restart this blog I make a promise that this time I will stick it out and try and keep my writing up to date. It never happens. I enjoy writing but something always holds me back from doing that bit extra needed to become an accomplished writer. 

It’s not just my writing that is suffering. My whole personal life has gone downhill. I haven’t been on a night out in almost a year. I shun social situations. All my life I have always been the quiet one of the group, be it a group of friends, at work or even my family. I consider myself painfully shy and have been able to mask this with that wonderful Irish tonic, alcohol. But I can’t be drunk all the time. 

I am gradually putting myself into social situations. Just last week I attended a book launch for a local author I admire (Waters and the Wild by Jo Zebedee). I sat in the audience and clapped politely after each reading and afterwards I even spoke to the author! Yes I spluttered out my words and tried to escape from the conversation but I put myself out there. Small steps.

I have been inspired by my cousins who have recently shown a great determination to turn their lives around. One cousin has lost three stone in weight and another cousin has taken great strides in improving her (already impressive) writing skills. I wish them well and I hope they continue to improve. I want that too.

I haven’t spoke to my cousins about their positive actions other than to congratulate them and wish them good luck. And therein lies my own problem. I know that if I was to ask either of these guys for advice they would offer it gladly. I don’t ask for help. This isn’t a stupid stubborn male thing. I have a fear of being laughed at or being told no. It is something I have to work on but I have been inspired to improve myself.

I have started a walking regime and am eating granola every morning in an effort to lose weight. This worked for me before when I needed to lose weight for an operation. I have also sent off some writing for a competition. I have continued to write some short stories and poems and now seems like a good time to see if they are any good. If I don’t hear back then I will continue to write and send off a least one piece a month.